*CHOMP!*

[secondlina]

The ironic part about this post is that not even a post ago, I was on top of the world...

Somedays I feel like the only thing i'm good at is drawing. Today is one of those. Actually, I don't even feel good at drawing either. Apparently, according to some, i'm not that hot of shit. Apparently, according to some, I should just quit while i'm ahead. Gah. You know, I know i'm not that great of an artist; hence why i take critism, and ask my friends to help me design characters, and study other artists to get better. I mainly draw because I love it and I want to eventually become a great artist. But you know what, when someone comes up to you and basically takes a piss on your work for no obvious reason, it still hurts. That's not critism. That's just being mean.

There's a difference.

Aside from that, I'm questionning my self-worth a bit (yet again, the endless circle that is my lack of confidence). I'm having trouble with my job at the bookstore. Some of the customers (aka parents there to buy school books) have placed complaints about my work habilities. Also, I never seem to be able to make the cash balance when I work on it. No matter how hard I try, I seem to be piling mistake over mistake. Am I terrible at this job? Or is it simply because i'm new? Or is it the people? I don't know/care anymore. I know I start my new and "real" job as a communication agent soon, so I really should stop worrying about the bookstore but now i'm wondering, If I can't even do this stupid retail job right, what's it going to be with the communication job? Am I just terrible at retail? Or am I really just good for one thing? Or am I just panicking and moody?

Argh. Whatever. *goes to sulk*

Tomorrow i,ve got my exhibit at La Petite Mort Gallery. At least that's good news.
Also, James Jean, one of my favorite artist has released a book about all the covers he drew of Fables. It's going to show his drawing process. I am so buying that. It shall be mine.

-Isa

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

:(
you know what? don't take shit from people concerning your artwork. Unfortunately, in the arts, there are a lot of people who want to downsize you as an artist, for whatever reason it is. (mainly to make themselves feel better about themselves, as cliché as it is).
AND, as the exhibit proved, you've got LOADS of talent.
Furthemore, unfortunately, there are always some people that will dislike what you do, the art world is VERY subjective. So as hurtful as it is, you'll have to endure the people that dislike your art, and learn to not let it affect you.....
And as for the retail job, I wouldn't worry about it....
Isa C (LJ wouldn't let me log in for some reason.....)
people make complain, but they are probably people that have never worked in retail and don't know the stress/awful customers like them that comes with the job. And hey, what if you're not cut for retail work? not everybody is cut for that kind of crap. You're loads better at arts admin stuff anyways, so I wouldn't worry about being crappy at retail if it means being awesome at arts admin like you are!!

[(Anonymous)]

haha I don'T know why LJ put my signature in the middle, that's awkward lol
isa

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

I think the fact that I kinda suck at the retail job bugs me simply because i'm usually pretty good at it. However, I usually have at least a month of training/getting used to it before I jump into 12 hour shifts of non-stop rush (ack) so I guess i'm fair.

As for the critism, I usually take it better then that (I actually enjoy critism) but I think that guy just pushed the bad buttons... Guy actually gave me some pretty good critism about my presentation (which I really, really need to work on) so I'm going to do a few tests over the next few weeks.

The exhibit was amazing by the way. You kick ass at curating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Kristin sold everything! I'm so happy for her! I kinda want to buy Becky's badges... I wonder if she'd trade me a drawing for them! *laughs*