*CHOMP!*

[secondlina]

The ironic part about this post is that not even a post ago, I was on top of the world...

Somedays I feel like the only thing i'm good at is drawing. Today is one of those. Actually, I don't even feel good at drawing either. Apparently, according to some, i'm not that hot of shit. Apparently, according to some, I should just quit while i'm ahead. Gah. You know, I know i'm not that great of an artist; hence why i take critism, and ask my friends to help me design characters, and study other artists to get better. I mainly draw because I love it and I want to eventually become a great artist. But you know what, when someone comes up to you and basically takes a piss on your work for no obvious reason, it still hurts. That's not critism. That's just being mean.

There's a difference.

Aside from that, I'm questionning my self-worth a bit (yet again, the endless circle that is my lack of confidence). I'm having trouble with my job at the bookstore. Some of the customers (aka parents there to buy school books) have placed complaints about my work habilities. Also, I never seem to be able to make the cash balance when I work on it. No matter how hard I try, I seem to be piling mistake over mistake. Am I terrible at this job? Or is it simply because i'm new? Or is it the people? I don't know/care anymore. I know I start my new and "real" job as a communication agent soon, so I really should stop worrying about the bookstore but now i'm wondering, If I can't even do this stupid retail job right, what's it going to be with the communication job? Am I just terrible at retail? Or am I really just good for one thing? Or am I just panicking and moody?

Argh. Whatever. *goes to sulk*

Tomorrow i,ve got my exhibit at La Petite Mort Gallery. At least that's good news.
Also, James Jean, one of my favorite artist has released a book about all the covers he drew of Fables. It's going to show his drawing process. I am so buying that. It shall be mine.

-Isa

Comments

[ichiban-victory.livejournal.com]

Who the heck told you you couldn't draw?! The fact alone that your art has been on display and even sold means that some out there would beg to differ. Heck, I very much beg to differ! Your art isn't 'perfect' (and I'm certainly not one to talk), but who's really is? Art is about forever evolving anyway. Not even the great masters ever stopped in their pursuit of creating better art.

(Can I go bust some kneecaps now?)

The work stuff sounds like stress. Trust me, it gets at me, too. It'll go down with time and experience..and hopefully whoever runs the place is good at Accounting...

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

I kinda typed this up depressed. With a bit of time, I realised this was really stress based. some people enjoy ruining your day.

[rowenathewitch.livejournal.com]

You shouldn't worry about your work. You are just new, and parents always complain about anything XD

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Yeah, they expect too much I find.

[earthstar-moon.livejournal.com]

You're a good artist. As Diane said, the fact that you had art displayed and sold is good proof in that.

As for the job, it's probably just stress and your new. First time I was in retail, I had to count the cash for closing and it took me months before I could get it to balance properly. Then the next job I got was for a library which I was great at. In other words, it just takes experience and one job doesn't mean you can't do any job.

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

I guess so. Though, some mistakes can reflect mistakes you might make in another job. I,m generally confused. I am fairly certain I hate retail though.

[the-flowergirl.livejournal.com]

I think having art sold is a good indicator of how good you are, I'm sure you're just nervous from your new job. Things like that take some getting used to.

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I just expect too much of me maybe. I like to be the best, right off the bat. It's bad pride. XD

[auriga]

Sometimes I think that there are people who believe they can say awful nasty things without repercussions if they pass it off as "constructive criticism". But you're very right in thinking that there's a real difference between useful criticism and just plain being mean, and I don't think anything good comes from listening to that kind of thing. I say ignore them! You're an awesome artist! People aren't born geniuses; with learn as we go, and there's never a shortage of things to learn, but regardless, you've already got lots of talent.

*hugs!*

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the guy was a d*ck. I have no idea why I let it affect me so much.

[auriga]

I find that when people act horrible like that, it's especially hard to forget, for some reason. Maybe it's just because I don't understand how a person can be such a jerk. :/ But at any rate, I hope you're feeling better now!

[snapdragon76.livejournal.com]

Who's this jackass saying you're not a good artist?! Who cares what they say. I happen to think you're a GREAT artist!

{{{HUGS}}}

And I think the bookstore job will improve. I remember when I first started my job, I was always making mistakes, and I thought I was horrible at it. I felt like complete shit because I thought I was so incompetent. But, I eventually got better the more I did it and now, while I still make mistakes, they're not as frequent and I have more confidence in myself. You will to. Just give it time.

Hang in there kiddo.

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

You know what? I realised after typing this that I had like...no training at all, I was thrown into work, right away and stressful work at that! (only 2 employees for 10 customers. And not just sale, sale, sale like in a fast food joint where that type of ratio would work. No, you gotta provide long minutes of service while other people glare!) So I guess I do pretty okay. My boss still gives me the occationnal "maybe I should have not asked for your help look" but whatever.

[snapdragon76.livejournal.com]

No training? Why would they hire someone and not give them training? That just doesn't make sense...

[anna-nimmie-tee.livejournal.com]

Your art has had several gallery showings with sales, and you are just getting started outside of academia. Your art was good enoungh to enable you to graduate after four years of scrutiny by how many professors? Your art is awesome in the full, true meaning of the word, not the vapid expression given by those lacking in vocabulary. It flows, it's expressive, and original.
And it's evolving. Sounds like your critic had a very bad day and took it out on you.

Retail can be hell. You can do a fantastic job with the majority of customers, only to have a tiny minority with personal issues ruin your day and make you dwell on those few minutes which werer in all those 8 hours.

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

...hey, that's true. I work there for 8 hours. The complaint was for 2 minutes of service. Well, then. I think that definitly shows something.

[(Anonymous)]

:(
you know what? don't take shit from people concerning your artwork. Unfortunately, in the arts, there are a lot of people who want to downsize you as an artist, for whatever reason it is. (mainly to make themselves feel better about themselves, as cliché as it is).
AND, as the exhibit proved, you've got LOADS of talent.
Furthemore, unfortunately, there are always some people that will dislike what you do, the art world is VERY subjective. So as hurtful as it is, you'll have to endure the people that dislike your art, and learn to not let it affect you.....
And as for the retail job, I wouldn't worry about it....
Isa C (LJ wouldn't let me log in for some reason.....)
people make complain, but they are probably people that have never worked in retail and don't know the stress/awful customers like them that comes with the job. And hey, what if you're not cut for retail work? not everybody is cut for that kind of crap. You're loads better at arts admin stuff anyways, so I wouldn't worry about being crappy at retail if it means being awesome at arts admin like you are!!

[(Anonymous)]

haha I don'T know why LJ put my signature in the middle, that's awkward lol
isa

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

I think the fact that I kinda suck at the retail job bugs me simply because i'm usually pretty good at it. However, I usually have at least a month of training/getting used to it before I jump into 12 hour shifts of non-stop rush (ack) so I guess i'm fair.

As for the critism, I usually take it better then that (I actually enjoy critism) but I think that guy just pushed the bad buttons... Guy actually gave me some pretty good critism about my presentation (which I really, really need to work on) so I'm going to do a few tests over the next few weeks.

The exhibit was amazing by the way. You kick ass at curating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Kristin sold everything! I'm so happy for her! I kinda want to buy Becky's badges... I wonder if she'd trade me a drawing for them! *laughs*