*CHOMP!*

[secondlina]

The ironic part about this post is that not even a post ago, I was on top of the world...

Somedays I feel like the only thing i'm good at is drawing. Today is one of those. Actually, I don't even feel good at drawing either. Apparently, according to some, i'm not that hot of shit. Apparently, according to some, I should just quit while i'm ahead. Gah. You know, I know i'm not that great of an artist; hence why i take critism, and ask my friends to help me design characters, and study other artists to get better. I mainly draw because I love it and I want to eventually become a great artist. But you know what, when someone comes up to you and basically takes a piss on your work for no obvious reason, it still hurts. That's not critism. That's just being mean.

There's a difference.

Aside from that, I'm questionning my self-worth a bit (yet again, the endless circle that is my lack of confidence). I'm having trouble with my job at the bookstore. Some of the customers (aka parents there to buy school books) have placed complaints about my work habilities. Also, I never seem to be able to make the cash balance when I work on it. No matter how hard I try, I seem to be piling mistake over mistake. Am I terrible at this job? Or is it simply because i'm new? Or is it the people? I don't know/care anymore. I know I start my new and "real" job as a communication agent soon, so I really should stop worrying about the bookstore but now i'm wondering, If I can't even do this stupid retail job right, what's it going to be with the communication job? Am I just terrible at retail? Or am I really just good for one thing? Or am I just panicking and moody?

Argh. Whatever. *goes to sulk*

Tomorrow i,ve got my exhibit at La Petite Mort Gallery. At least that's good news.
Also, James Jean, one of my favorite artist has released a book about all the covers he drew of Fables. It's going to show his drawing process. I am so buying that. It shall be mine.

-Isa

Comments

[snapdragon76.livejournal.com]

Who's this jackass saying you're not a good artist?! Who cares what they say. I happen to think you're a GREAT artist!

{{{HUGS}}}

And I think the bookstore job will improve. I remember when I first started my job, I was always making mistakes, and I thought I was horrible at it. I felt like complete shit because I thought I was so incompetent. But, I eventually got better the more I did it and now, while I still make mistakes, they're not as frequent and I have more confidence in myself. You will to. Just give it time.

Hang in there kiddo.

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

You know what? I realised after typing this that I had like...no training at all, I was thrown into work, right away and stressful work at that! (only 2 employees for 10 customers. And not just sale, sale, sale like in a fast food joint where that type of ratio would work. No, you gotta provide long minutes of service while other people glare!) So I guess I do pretty okay. My boss still gives me the occationnal "maybe I should have not asked for your help look" but whatever.

[snapdragon76.livejournal.com]

No training? Why would they hire someone and not give them training? That just doesn't make sense...