Suckage...

[secondlina]

Yes, i'm aware that it's not a word...

This last week, for some reason, people have come to me with issues. For some reason I did not know of, I suddenly felt I was wise and tried giving advice. Well, according to recent statistics, my advice sucks 9 times outta 10. 

I'm not sure why I give advice to people honestly...^^;; I'm not very reliable. I see situations from a completly random angle and give out weird advice that would probably only work in a comic book. I think I should foward people to my friend Tama or something... If you've got problems, i'll listen, i'll support but pray the lord I don't advise you on anything. It just got someone dumped today. My advice is no good.

Which makes me wonder all together why people look up to me. People should stop doing that. I'm just a kid with not actual valuable life experience then the one I seem to have cultivated in books...I don't think i'm stupid, but I definitly don't have a fresh perspective. Actually, I was always terrible at drawing perspective.

For those who wonder how it went, the expo went fine. My photos seem to have been generally liked.  

In a general way, my work is doing fine *pets the work creature* but I seem to be lacking organization and motivation. I though for sure this week was last week, so I forgot about an exam and kinda did badly. My friend Fauve gave me a little calendar to cross out the days so I don't get confused again. I really need more focus. 

-Secondlina

Comments

Never give up, never surrender.

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Your advice always seems to be logic driven. Which is good and works when it comes to organizing yourself or others and actually quite a few other things. The problem, I think, is that you tend to have a hard time actually understanding the emotionnal side of a problem. That side tends to be affected by so many different elements and everybody gets affected by different things in highly varying levels that it hardly EVER seems logical. The emotionnal implication of a human VS human dilema tend to be so strong that even if a logical solution would present itself, the emotionnal convictions would turn that logical solution to a road to destruction.
I believe that thats why I spent the first two thirds of my life barely ever speaking and virtualy never giving away any advice. I just stayed to the side and observed how the interaction went and tried to learn as much as I could without actually getting myself implicated. I had believed that I didn't know enought about social interaction to actually have a worthwhile opinion. Plus, I was dead scared of actually giving away advice that would end up screwing up with the person and do more damage than good. What I hated about that was that I could deal with damage done to me, I have controle over how I'll let it affect me, but I have no controle over how someone else will get affected thru damage done by me. Which made me feel a million time more responsible for it.

You know what I learned thuout those first 16 years of solitude.

- Don't give advice, offer it. Let the person make his or her own decision.

- Better yet, don't even offer advice. Get the person to talk about the problem. Alot of the time, just talking thru a proble with somebody else will alow you to see it thru a different angle.

- Learn to be compasionnate. Try and understand both sides of the story and try to open the other person to the other implicated person(s) perception. (I try and not do this till I've had at least one talk with the other person(s) about the problem).

- I find that quite a few people don't want to admit an important part of a problem for fear of the implications that it might have. Try and open the person to that part. Depending on the persons denseness/stubborness/pride, this can become very hard.

- Most important, I find, is to find a way to convince that person to actually deal with the problem instead of just letting it deal with itself. Too many people are so scared of trying and failing that they never end up trying in the first place.

WE'RE ALL FREAKIN HUMAN AND WE'LL ALL MAKE MISTAKES.

IT!
IS!
BLOODY!
INEVITALBE!

It's like the saying goes; You'll learn more from your mistakes than from your achievements.

So go ahead and make mistakes. At least you'll have tried.

...

Alright, I think I'm done venting here.

Oh, and most of what I said was moreso directed towards people in a general way instead of you Isa.

And yes, I do realise I deserve the royal stick up my ass for thinking myself wise enough to give such advice to people. I figure people will take my advice or leave it and karma will take care of my retribution.

Seems fair.

And don't feel to bad about your recent negative advice giving experiences. You did it with good intentions and ultimately, the advice given person had mad her own choice on whether to take your advice or not. Thus responsibility was his/hers not yours. At worst, your responsible for influencing that persons decision.

Try and not beat yourself up too much over it.

Bye

Re: Never give up, never surrender.

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

I really am too logic driven. Which is probably why I make irony out of several situation and don't really understand others. And yes, I know it's not entirly my fault, but i'm really surprised about how confuse I generally am right now and how I seem to be spreading it to other people. I mean, I really though we were last week today. Not just think "What day are we?" but really think "Oh, we are the 24th today, not the 30th, still got time la-la-la" which kinda weirded out fauve when I told her (T'was good that I stayed at her house, she kinda helped me get organized this morning and she hugs me a lot)

Spacy za.

[snapdragon76.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about the setback you had today. Sometime I feel the advise I give is no good either, even though I have an actual degree in that area (which I'm not actually using at the moment).

*hugs*

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

I'm studying in arts / management. I've spent most of my life with little interaction with other humans. And i'm a geek.

Don't know why people seem to think i'm an oracle! *laughs*

I'll have good ideas for comics and stories thought.

[snapdragon76.livejournal.com]

With me, I pretty much need to get a higher degree in order to get any decent job in my field of study, which costs money. So at the moment, I'm at a bit of a standstill...

I'm painfully shy, so it takes me a while to open up to others. I've found I've gotten much better at it as I grow older, and I'm especially finding it easier as I've been working and interacting with others.

And I too am a geek. *puffs with pride*

[ichiban-victory.livejournal.com]

I know for a lot of people they are really looking for feedback, not necessarily advice. I really do not have personal experience with a lot of things, but I also will have people come to me. I think they want to hear my take on how I would handle a situation, because perhaps in some odd way it helps them find their own way to figure things out. (I usually get friends asking about relationship advice -for whatever reason since I am as pure as the driven snow when it comes to that- but they usually don't listen to what I say and make things worse. But oh well...)

Try not to feel too badly about it. Advice is cheap anyway, and whether a person chooses to follow it or not is their choice. (And we can never fully realize the situation anyway. Heck, I don't realize a lot of things that are in my own life.)

Calendars are good. Even though I hardly ever write on mine, I always make it a point to know what day it is so I don't goof up like that. (Heck, even with my calendar, my internal schedule was all messed up last semester. I missed a few tests altogether.) XP

I'm glad to hear all went well with the expo, at least!

[knightreborn.livejournal.com]

First off I'm glad the art expo went well. So wish I could've gotten the chance to see it.

Second in this: Don't worry too much about the advice, to me overall whenever I came to you with problems you helped me out a lot. Hell I give advice from time to time and for a lot of my life I was the hermit king. True story here though if it wasn't for a lot of your advice you gave me I probably wouldn't have gotten myself out there as much as I have.

You talking with me has set the general foundation for how I've turned out as a person over time. You're part of making me who I am today. I remember when I first met you online we got along but never fully got to know each other until the cosmic balance aligned and well there we go. If it wasn't for you and Beth during one period of time especially I don't know what would've happened.

You're a damned good person, I can't imagine my life now without having had your guidance over the years.

Thank you.

[yukinoomoni.livejournal.com]

I am the same way.

For soem reason, despite my general apathy for the human race, people come to me for advice, and usually, despite my given disclaimers, they take it, and of course it ends up more than likely being the WRONG advice.

Don't get me wrong. I love to listen to people and try to help. But I'm too stupid to know how to give out GOOD advice...