I... don't know what i'm doing.

[secondlina]

So, I took a pretty big decision yesterday. I gave my two week's notice. I think it's the right thing to do. I'm dissatisfied with my performance. I honestly think that i'm not the right person for the job I was filling anymore. Which happens. My office has been evolving a lot, people changing, people getting promoted to different places. And I just didn't fit that well. It's a pretty friendly leave, since I think people agree that i'm not the right person for this anyways. So... yeah.

I found another job. This one is part-time in a bookstore for comics. The job sounds awesome, but I am freaking out majorly. I was never on part time before. I'm happy i'll get time to draw, but i'm worried about money. So... yeah. I've been spending the last day nervously fidgeting in a corner, wondering if I did the smart thing. Which I probably did not, but hey, it's done.

I don't know what i'm doing. I don't know if it's going to work out. I don't know if this is the smart choice. And despite everyone telling me i'll be fine, I have never felt more anxious in my life. I really hope I haven't screwed myself over. Because I do that. I wish someone could look into the future and tell me. Half of me is happy, and the other half kinda feels like an epic failure.

Well, i,m going to try. Que sera, sera, I guess.

Have some comic about mermaids, inspired by brendala 's comment last post.



- Isa

Comments

[pip25.livejournal.com]

"Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing." - Wernher Von Braun

So... consider this an elaborate real life experiment. ;)

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

That's pretty much the best idea. I just worry about experiments exploding! :D

[earthstar-moon.livejournal.com]

You did the right thing, I know it was full time, but you were not happy there. A job should be a place you don't mind going to and if it's giving you a headache every single day, then it's not worth. You'll have way more fun in a comic shop and you'll just feel happier.

I can understand why you're worried, anyone would be, but you're going to be fine. You just might have to be careful saving money, but you're good at that. *hugs*

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

I wish I was a bit better at it though. *laughs*

[yukinoomoni.livejournal.com]

First of all, congratulations! That's a huge step towards getting what needs to be done, done.

Second, I know it seems scary and daunting right now, especially if you're used to full-time salary and such. But remember: You're also selling your own work on the side, and you could always make sure that your new boss(es) know that you are open for as many shifts as they can give you.

Third: I think this is a great chance for you. It gives you, like you said, plenty of time to work on your own work, and that could just be the amount of time you need to get your name further out there. You WILL have to live frugally for a while, but I have a feeling that it'll be worth it.

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's probably going to eventually bring in a lot of good things. I guess I just worry because I don't have a lot of confidence and trust in myself.

[paynesgrey.livejournal.com]

I wish you luck. I think the anxiety is natural but maybe it'll work out for the best in the end.
GOOD LUCK!

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

There's always options.

Also, that is the best icon.

[cxco.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's you that was the problem at your old job - you weren't feeling right in that environment so you did the right thing to leave.

Congrats and best of luck! Everything always turns out well in the end.

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

I hope so. But I guess it's like you said the other day. Bad situations are pretty much bad because you insist on staying in them.

[fenmere.livejournal.com]

One thing you can do to peer into the future is do the numbers. Figure out what your paycheck is likely to be, subtract your bills from it, then see what you have left. Figure out how to live within that. It'll look really, really tight, but if you spend more time drawing and going for walks or visit parks for pass time, you can space out your expensive pastimes and help make it work. But more importantly, doing the numbers and visualizing how you'll do it will go a long way toward easing that anxiety.

[ichiban-victory.livejournal.com]

This right here is sound advice, I do it every time I get a new job as well. Yeah, you might not be earning a ton of money anymore, but if you can still get by, even if it means not spending as much on things you want, you ought to do just fine.

[auriga]

Considering how stressful your old job was, I think you did the right thing. Even if it's not full-time, you still have another job, so you should be all right! And comics! Working in a comic store should be awesome. So I hope that goes well for you. ♥

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Comics do always make things more awesome.

[brendala.livejournal.com]

Yay! I inspired something! ^_^


I know the money issue is scary. But I think leaving that old job was the right thing to do. The stress and lack of free time was clearly getting to you.

I'm sure you'll get extra hours in the bookstore once you're established there. And, hopefully, the extra time you have to draw and market yourself will help you earn money through your art.

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Yeah, hopefully. I,m panicking now, but maybe in a couple of months i'll be all like "I have illustration contracts and fun now! what was I worried about?"

[engelen.livejournal.com]

is there a chance for growing at the comic store?
Like, maybe you could eventually become a full-time employee, and then maybe get promoted or something?

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Dunno yet. Maybe? If not, it's not bad either. it will give me a nice break.

[ichiban-victory.livejournal.com]

The unknown is always scary, no matter what. I would be lying if I said I never felt anxious when making a huge life decision, and trust me, I made more than a few this past year. Yeah, things were hectic for a while, but now that I've gained some hindsight, I know I did the right thing. Just keep taking things a day at a time instead of everything at once.

As to money... You know, honestly, at least in regard to myself, I'd much prefer continuing art trades with you than swapping cold hard cash. What say you? (And yes, this applies to what we were talking about last night. Money is here and gone in an instant, but art lasts forever!)

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Agreed. Let's make some comics!

[asatira.livejournal.com]

I think you're doing the right thing. It's a risk, a big leap, but you're doing what others keep saying they'll do and never do: leave a bad work situation. You're doing something. Good luck! You're moving forward.

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Oh good. I think most people stay in bad jobs because it's hard to get jobs nowadays. It's so hard.... :(

[disembodied-cat.livejournal.com]

I think it's a fun and smart decision - mainly because you were SO miserable in the old place ... money will be tight, but you can use that extra time to work on art or find a stable full time job that doesn't suck so hard. This will keep your spirits up, I suppose like Disneyland is for me.
I understand being anxious though, don't worry. <3

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Indeed, you kinda went thru them too.

[chameleon9999.livejournal.com]

I always wanted to work in a comic book store! Sounds like it could be fun.

Like the others, I'm sure you'll be able to sell your art on the side. (I thought that's what most artists did anyway to make up the costs, but since art is mostly a hobby for me right now, I don't really know what's going on in the art business.)

Since Jabberwocky went so fast, I'm sure you'd be good in comics. I'm gonna buy a print when you get them again. :)

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Now that i'm done panicking, I think i'll manage. It's just.. .scary.

[miss-maggiemay.livejournal.com]

you did the right thing! :)

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Merci, Julie! :) T'est trop fine.

[putri-nih.livejournal.com]

You should listen to these people here :)

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

I know, I is paranoid.

[cartoonchic.livejournal.com]

It sounds to me like you did the right thing! and consider that in situations like this there may be no right or wrong thing, just life.
But since you weren't happy or satisfied working there I'm still gonna say it was the 'right' thing to do.
Your new job really does sound awesome! I want!
I think its important to love what you do. So if that job didn't leave you feeling fulfilled at the end of the day, it was time to get the heck out. Now you have time to work towards something that will leave you feeling satisfied at the end of each day.

and since your comics and art are so good you could use that to pick up some extra money on the side :)
hope you start feeling better!

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

I was thinking I could use art to find ways to make some extra cash... i'm just wondering how.

[spankingfemme.livejournal.com]

Those sketches are too fun! XD I responded to the above on your namesake feed ;)

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

I saw! :D

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I think the idea that you are so unafraid of change, that you can leave a job voluntarily, not because others think you should go but because you are not happy with your performance there, speaks worlds of wonderful towards your boldness. Don't lose that excellent attitude, 'k?

(and I want a tiny mermaid too)

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Hahahah, I don't feel very bold. Just dumb. But thanks anyways :D

[snapdragon76.livejournal.com]

Congrats on taking the initiative and going ahead and quitting the job you dislike so much. Things will work out eventually. You'll see. And at least you'll still have a little income coming in!

Awww, your little mermaid comics are so adorable!! Makes me want to have a wee little mermaid in my tub.

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

or in mayonnaise jars.

[savageknight.livejournal.com]

every now and again, it's good (and important) to do something that seems a little crazy if it brings peace of spirit. You never know what's on the other side of the road until you cross it!

It's always worth a shot to take a chance! :)

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

I guess so. I just never really took chances before I guess i'm nervous about it.

[elirrina.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you've already got a new job lined up! At least this will give you a chance to see how part-time works out. You can always look for another full-time if it doesn't. But it's fun that you'll have more time to work on your art. The mermaid is cute. :)

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Yeah, part time was my goal before, so I should at least try it before freaking out and deciding I signed my own death sentence. I'm such a worry-wart.

[vonandmoggy.livejournal.com]

Good luck...you'll be fine. It sounds like it was the right decision for you. *hug*

p.s.
What store is it?

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Librairie Monet :D

[amelia-seyroon.livejournal.com]

I have every confidence in you. <333

[secondlina.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[http://users.livejournal.com/unnecessary_/]

I think you did the right thing, if it feels like the right thing.

Gorgeous again. I love the little mermaid. :)

[kuridee.livejournal.com]

Sorry this reply is so late! I was gonna reply to your Tumblr post a while back but it just got buried on my dash, so! I mean, it sounds like you made the right choice--your job was really stressing you out, it sounded like. And now you get to work in a comic book store! That's awesome! I hope you love it, I really do. Because if you love it, that might make the whole "money" thing a little easier. I hope everything works out. :)

Also, I can't wait to get my copy of Jabberwocky! Also also: I know you mentioned commmishes on Tumblr, and I just wanted to let you know that you have at least one person who is very much interested!! :DD