secondlina | Wet Dog

Nothing sucks more then being caught in cold wind and rain...except being caught in cold wind and rain during rush hour in Ottawa....oh, yeah, and being caught in cold wind and rain during rush hour in Ottawa while carrying two bags, a painting tube and two paintings bigger then you badly wrapped in plastic bags is no pinic either. I was rather happy when I got home. This experience would not have been quite as bad if it wasn't rush hour though. A bunch of people on the bus kept leaning on my paintings...But most people were very understanding and helpful, so that was cool. ^^

Reh, I still don't enjoy all this rain too much. Mainly because I carry so much paper around. I'm not a water-type person. I'm more wind or fire, thanks. I like my soothing heat and light, thanks.

I think I just knocked myself out of a weird phase I was in. Maybe rain was a cold shower I needed. I've been kindoff a brat and a whiny groutch since I got back from Toronto. I'm actually looking back and realising i'm annoying myself. I caused quite a lot of bullshit with schedules at work, which was stupid. I don't get why I took the whole schedule crap so badly. Honestly, I got called in at the last minute a good few times and it din't even bother me. So I wonder why that time did...I think I was just being a jerk. Oh well. My boss wants to talk to me and I don't blame her. I deserve a warning. I'm not gonna defend myself, it's really all my fault or at least mostly my fault, so i'm just going to take it like I should. It's no big deal. As long as I realise i've messed up, I think i'll be fine. I'm not at risk of getting fired either, which would suck, so I think it's cool. Obviously, i'm loosing some brownie points here, but i'll just have to make up for it by doing my work well. I wonder if i'll get back to two shifts a week next week. I don't want to ask my boss for it after all the turd I caused this week so I'm just going to let her do the schedules she wants. Basicly the wait and see.

On a brither note, I just subcrived to an internet art image database throught my university called Artstor. It has truckloads of wicked images for so many artists O_O I looked up some of my favorite ones and saw these wonderful pencil sketches by Mucha and Klimt. Lovely stuff. ^^

Well, tomorrow I think i'm gonna take an art day and concentrate on all my art-related homework. ^^ Maybe draw a comic or two.

-secondlina

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A post from the anonymous rat-tailed man.
You say you were in a weird phase.
I agree, you weren't in your average "whatever happens to me, I probably deserve it" phase. It's.... not necessarily a bad thing.
There'one thing you seemed to have learned in a bad way thruout your life. LIFE IS UNFAIRE.
The reason I'm saying this is that if something bad happens to you, it DOESN'T necessarily mean you deserved it. Lately you've actually been fighting back these little or not so little annoyances. The fact that it's been drainning your energy seems pretty normal to me. Lately, you've actually been setting up some boundaries as to what your whilling to accept and what is too much.
I think that it's definately a good thing, cuz, as you know very well, I think that a lot of your personnal boundaries where either too vague, or too low.
I think your just a little unused to this "sticking with your personnal boundaries" thing.
There's always the chance that you've been going overboard. But from what I've been hearing or reading, if you are going overboard, it's only very little.

Ok....

I think this post has been going on for long enough so, so I'll stop now.

Don't give up
Bye

I think I did go somewhat a lot overboard, and I have been in a very foul mood. More then I should be, even with people who are basicly asking for it.

And the Tim Hortons business IS my fault. I fucked around with the schedule big time when I could have just done my job correctly and it would have changed absolutly nothing to my day. I'm the one at fault here. I gotta admit other people came into play, but it was mainly me that got up and caused trouble and din't respect my hours. ^^;;; I really don't get why I was so much of a witch that day. I did the same hours in worse conditions and I was actually pretty okay with it. Aside from the morning shift people, I'm generally okay with most Tim Hortons stuff. This time I actually mixed up everybody's schedules for no reason. Just because I felt like being a jerk. It's neither nice or well-motivated ^^;;; Well, I guess everybody gets to be the villain at least once. This was my villainous turn. I'll behave better on my next shift.

Feh. I din't really enjoy being the bad guy this week.

Wet Dog

Don't be too hard on yourself

Re: Don't be too hard on yourself