Chicks with swords are always badass you know! :P And on all the above, you are correct, although I don't think you are as defunct on the know how as you may think (you know more than I! And going to cons drawing behind the table is a great step in the right direction =D) You do have a lot of self-confidence issues to work on, but I think that is common with artists since most of us are pretty introverted folk to begin with, and big social moves tend to make us nervous :P